confessions of a fast driver

i like to drive fast. sigh.... there i've said it. i like to drive fast!

i've said it before.... i'm sure i'll say it again. i don't believe there's anything wrong with it either. i believe i was born to drive fast. it's not that i'm in a particular hurry to get things done or in a hurry to get anywhere really fast either. i just like to drive fast.

and the thing is, when the speed limit on the road is 65, i like to drive said speed of 65! not 60 or 55 or even 64....but 65. oh, alright..... i confess! if i'm going to be fully honest and tell the whole truth here, i even push it and sometimes drive slightly over the 65. i just can't help myself. this doesn't pertain only to 65, it's whatever the posted speed limit is on the road. i want to drive whatever that speed is no less. otherwise, what's the point?

when i get behind the wheel, i love the feel of the car. gripping the steering wheel. the snugness of the seat belt. getting everything adjusted just so. making sure the mirrors are perfect. angling the vents. pulling the seat forward. it's all like a gentle caress ensuring it fits the contours of my body like a glove.

and once prepared, turning the engine over, putting her into gear and heading out. the way the road zips by. how the tires hug the curves. the sound of the wind, the power and control with the steering wheel in your hands.

i've always wanted to put on a helmet and jumpsuit and experience the indy 500. the zooming of what going over 200 mph must feel like. whew baby.... race car driving. doesn't that sound like a dream?

so then when i'm on the highway and limited to rules, i want to push them. but mark my words, i am a safe driver. i have never had a ticket and i obey all the rules of the road as i am supposed to even though i don't necessarily like to. however, i tend to remain in the far left hand lane as much as possible passing other vehicles one by one, ticking 'em off like lint....worthless.

it would be so much better if a sign like this one would greet me on the road. it would allow me to gauge my own speed all the time and make a determination of safety. how perfect would that be?

i like the idea....i like the concept.

happy day.....

tribute

this week we said "so long" to a very special gentleman. his name was patch. he was a friend to my mom and dad, and also to my family for quite a number of years. although i didn't really know him very well in terms of his background, how he grew up, what he'd done for a living and all those other kinds of things, the fact that he was an integral part of my folks lives for so long was enough for me.

that he gave of himself to my mom during troubled times, that he shared stories with my dad, that for years they met over coffee at the local target - laughing and commiserating over this and that like so many of us do....that bound me to him. the fact that after my dad passed, patch was the one that stood up to say a few words about what kind of man dad was and how their friendship had grown. the reassuring hugs he always gave me before i left to say that he'd take care of mom.

i will miss patch. his caring, his kindness, his gentleness. i will remember his touch and imprint on our family, and am ever grateful for his passing through our lives. i wish him god's rest now and his family peace, love and strength from my heart and gratitude for sharing him with us.

happy day.....

candy calls

sweets are calling my name today. don't know why. maybe spring time is near. you know; birds in the air, baseballs flying, kids playing in the street, trees beginning to bud. i am so ready for winter to be over.

but for some reason candy has been on my brain. i've been thinking of the old time stuff. i remember going to the local baseball diamond when my brothers were playing their little league games. one of the biggest reasons i enjoyed going was to be able to scrounge for loose coins under the bleachers. whoo-hoo....what fun that was. i always knew if i found extra money, the exact candy i was going to buy. yup! charleston chews. yummy...yum....yum! nothing like it, nothing since!

happy day.....

to touch or not to touch

we've all seen this symbol of xoxo's; know it means hugs and kisses, use it at the end of messages or letters. but do we use it because it's cute or "in?" do we do it because we mean it? because we believe it for the other person? in lieu of being there with them?

i have recently become a fan of the happiness project. it is a site that is full of a lot of different information and i encourage you to take a moment to check it out.

every day the author, gretchen rubin, focuses on a different theme. today she was writing about touching more, kissing more, hugging more, and how that can contribute to us being happier in our lives. how "physical expressions of affection can strengthen all sorts of connections." i really like how she phrased that. i believe it is so very true. as human beings, i think we are sometimes so starved for affection; if we just reached out and did a little touching perhaps things would be better. maybe we would be soothed. i once heard we should all get at least 12 hugs a day to be healthy. if we don't, what happens? do we fall into a deficit and go bankrupt? from loss of hugging?

we've all seen the studies or read the articles. in fact, gretchen refers to a new york times article about the importance of little touches with each other meaning a lot in our lives. it was very interesting.

as for me, i'll tell you this. i know i want to pay attention to implementing more action with displaying affection to those in my life every day. not just using symbols or words. symbols are fun, no doubt, and i want fun. but touch is important, too.

have you had your "touch" today?

happy day.....

tootsies

i'm talking toes today. yes, toes. is there a problem with that? can you handle it? i know toes are not an everyday sort of subject matter however, every now and then going out of our comfort zone is a must.

see....i just noticed something about my toes. actually, only my little toes. maybe you have too. and i think it may have to do with the aging process but i don't want to admit it. probably shouldn't tell anyone either. because i am turning a certain....ahem....age this year. but that's a whole other topic.....for a whole other day.

i think my little toes are shrinking! really! i'm totally serious. but....how can that be? and along with them shrinking, is my little toe nail, too. it seems as if there is hardly any nail left at all anymore. it used to be that the nail was the same size as the rest of my other toes and nails. but now it has been reduced to probably less than half its original size. i am not making this up. you know what i am talking about because it has happened or is happening to you as well. isn't it? what do you do about this situation? is anything to be done?

is this age? is this the natural progression of things? why? is it because of all the nail polish i've used? all the time i've spent going barefoot? or all the time i've worn those cute open toed shoes with my little toes smashed into the side of the leather? when i knowingly haven't given them enough room to stretch? eeekkkk..... how horrifying to think any of these might be possibilities.

i am disheartened by the fact that my little tootsies are getting more little by the day or hour. but let me say this. i love shoes. i love sandals. i love open toed shoes. of all kinds and all colors and all styles. i will carry on the fabulous tradition of wearing them all and enjoying them regardless of the outcome.... at least at this moment in time.

happy day.....

chasing rainbows

i am fascinated by rainbows. the colors, the look, the size, whether they are single - double - even triple...those are the coolest ever! when it rains, i am constantly on the lookout for them.

in the fall i was driving downtown with a friend. it was raining one of those nice gentle rains that are ideal for taking a walk in; or skipping through; maybe jumping in the puddles and playing in.

all of a sudden, i looked up in the sky and shouted "look...over there - there's a rainbow." well...probably not the smartest thing for him to do since he was driving. but the point is that there was the prettiest of rainbows that i'd seen in quite some time.



so the way that some people chase tornadoes, we began to chase the rainbow. we followed it through a residential section of town marveling at the pretty saturated colors.



we drove for about a mile winding this way and that on the roads, finally coming to a stop in a school yard where the sun started to hide behind clouds making the rainbow fade away....thus ending our adventure.

it was fun while it lasted though and brought out the childlike awareness of simple pleasures, beauty in nature, the fun you can have with a friend when you are on a mission to accomplish a common goal....the thrill, the rush.

happy day.....

quotes

do you quote quotes? sometimes i can't always remember quotes...the exact wording or phrasing. i don't necessarily recall who may have said the words either. seems my memory is lacking in that regard. but i love quotes anyway.

in fact, i love words and how they fit together; their make-up and syntax. the way they can float off our lips and tongues with ease. then, too, the way they can give us pause...the struggle with which we can engage with them fighting to say what we mean and mean what we say....when it is not so effortless. the battle that can ensue. still there is beauty in the language and the rhythm of our speaking.

i was thinking today about laughter and a few quotes that i like that came to mind. i thought it would be fun to share them. i feel that laughter is food for the soul and whenever possible we should feed our souls with as much laughing as we can; smiles, giggles, chuckles, guffaws, hearty snorts, laughing that makes you cry or makes milk squirt out your nose you know what i mean? where you feel really alive!

my laughter faves:

a good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~irish proverb

the most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

what soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~yiddish proverb

what are your favorite quotes?

happy day.....

original poem

i love poems. short poems, long poems, old poems, new poems, poems that tell a story or not, poems that have great meaning, fun poems, serious poems, silly poems, kid poems, adult poems....all kinds.

this is one of my poems:

tree...
beautiful tree
stretch out your branches
reach for heaven
welcome the blossom
offering of fragrance
peace. serenity. joy.

happy day.....

photo fun

i did not capture this picture on film so i cannot take credit for its beauty....darn it! for it is beautiful. when i saw it online, i was drawn to the colors and how saturated they were thinking... "jeez, i want to be able to take pictures like this."

i was surprised to find that it was taken using an iphone of all things! are you? and then was thrilled in the next moment because i remembered, hello! i have an iphone, too! whoo-hoo!

now i am not one to endorse particular products and do not want to encourage that on this site. nor do i want to encourage the purchase of any certain app for a particular product. far be it from me to proclaim that one brand, type, mega pixel, standard, byte, app, setting, whatever is better, best, expert, in the field than any other. i am no more qualified to make those kinds of statements than to tell you what kind of toothpaste to use or mayo to buy. see....you are making a face because you've got your own opinion on those very two products now don't you?

but....the story is that there is an app for the iphone that is called shakeitphoto and it takes pictures on your iphone like a polaroid, but is called a fauxlaroid. now i'd never heard of a 'fauxlaroid' but it didn't matter 'cuz i liked the pic so i had to have the app. it also didn't matter that the app was gonna cost me a tiny bit of money....i usually don't pay for apps since i'd like everything to be free. however, i figured the cost was very minimal and worth the chance. i'll let you know how it goes in upcoming posts by showing off some of my pictures, how's that?

by the way, this lovely pic was taken by the sweet eventide .

happy day.....

ash wednesday

what do you believe about ash wednesday? do you know what it is? what it stands for or signifies? does it impact you?

i will tell you this. when i was growing up, i thought it only applied to my catholic friends. that it was a special, secretive ceremony that went on in their churches every february. and when they came out, the same mark was on all their foreheads signifying something i didn't understand; that wasn't meant for me and i wasn't entitled to. i remember feeling somewhat left out albeit kind of scared at the same time.

on top of that, they all had to give stuff up! what? for 40 days. yes. 40 days they had to deny themselves of something they really enjoyed doing, eating, reading, eating, something. a habit they wanted to break themselves of maybe, a vice, or something pleasureable. it seemed really crazy to me. sometimes there was success, sometimes not. and then there was the whole "no fish on friday" thing. i never understood that one, either. and this only seemed to apply to certain people. i don't remember having to follow this in my church. secretly, i was glad because i wondered what i'd do if i was made to give up the one thing i really, truly loved! what then?

now that i am older...grown up and a bit wiser in my years, i have a greater appreciation for the spiritual side of things. i understand a tiny bit more how valuable it is to attend to days like ash wednesday and recognize the significance of them in my life. especially since ash wednesday is the beginning of what we call lent which leads to the celebration of easter, it's all the more crucial for me personally.



recognizing my sin, the need for a savior, repenting daily.....whew! how do you handle all that? thankfully, i don't have to on my own because jesus did it for me! he conquered life and death for me and you, and that is the aim of ash wednesday. receiving the sign of that smudge of a cross on our foreheads - that is a reminder that we are dust and to dust we shall return, and in so doing, we are giving ourselves to god.

happy day.....

traditions

do you have certain things you do on certain days at certain times? maybe just at certain times of the year? perhaps it's when you were growing up? maybe it's now? or when you were in school? started as a baby with your parents? or it could be as you got older something you yourself decided to do that was special and held meaning? a tradition? a ritual of some kind? some people sing special songs to their babies, or write in journals, do laundry at particular times, have the same sunday dinner after church, drive the same route to work every day.

well, when i was growing up, we had "bath" nights. same nights of the week, every week. like clock work. no variation. we could count on it. didn't matter what else was going on. if there was company or not. if dinner was late. if someone was sick. homework wasn't finished. it was still bath night and you were getting your bath. no matter what.

there is comfort in that memory. comfort in the tradition. for in that was born the yearning desire to have other such traditions and rituals in my life which are important; and play a role in the make-up and fabric of my being.

happy day....

secret hideaways

i have a secret hideaway. i found it a couple of years ago on a trip out and about in the mountains somewhere.....just tooling around. it was totally unexpected. i am sharing it with you but not its location. that's why it's secret. ha!





isn't it adorable? it's away from it all....remote. no neighbors to speak of. no traffic. great views. quiet.

have you ever wanted a place to get away from it all? to escape to? where no one would know where you are....couldn't find you? a place where you could go to do anything or nothing at all?

for now, i pretend this is that place for me.

happy day.....

gold, silver, bronze

tonight begins the 2010 winter olympics. the beginning of a journey that will change the lives of many. a time athletes have been spending the past years training for....for one moment to prove to themselves they have what it takes to be the best of the best. to rise above all else.

does it give you goose bumps to watch the pomp and circumstance? to see the nations parade in to the arena? to share in their excitement and awe? to wish for a minute that maybe it was you there in that moment?

what a dream. what an accomplishment. to have worked so hard. the sweat. the tears. the sacrifice. the doubt. the courage. what will these next weeks bring? what stories will unfold? will you watch?

there has already been one tragic story during a training run on the icy luge course. unbelievable. of a life lost. my heart is full of grief and sadness for this man of the luge. i pray peace for his family and fellow athletes.

but the games will go on in the spirit they always have. and i will cheer on everyone. because i think that's what the games represent.

happy day.....

for the love of bread

i am in love! yes, i am. i am in love with bread. wheat bread, white bread, whole grain, seven grain, oat grain, potato, sour dough, challah, bread and butter, plain. bread. ahhhh.....bread. i am salivating as i type this. i love bread.

i am craving bread this very moment! in fact, i have been craving it since i woke up this morning and every minute of this entire day. i should have turned right back around and headed back to bed for a do-over. the craving has followed me throughout the day like bad garlic breath.... like a puppy nipping at my heals.... it has not left me alone no matter what i've done or how i've tried to distract myself. actually the more i've tried to ignore it, the worse it has gotten. why is that? does that happen to you, too?

i want to give in to the temptation but am afraid if i do, craziness will ensue. i will turn into a glutton and eat an entire loaf of warm, doughy goodness. a slave to the smell of yeasty wonderful magic. would that be a bad thing? i tell myself there isn't anything wrong with bread in moderation. if a person can eat just one piece, maybe two pieces, hurray! the trouble is, i struggle with that. 'cuz i am in love with bread. it is one of my most favorite things to eat. some people love ice cream or pie, pasta, mashed potatoes, lasagna, cake, chips. me....bread.

tomorrow. deli. bread. two. pieces. yum!

happy day.....

small place

the world is a small place indeed.

i grew up in illinois. went to college in illinois as well and then relocated to iowa for a short while to work. then i ventured west. to a land of beautiful mountain scape's. where hills are more than mere bumps in the road, colors are breathtaking in the sky, trails abound, squirrels can act like they are you're best friends, the air is crisp and snow doesn't stay on the ground longer than you can spell your name forward and back. i live in colorado now. i love it here.

every now and again i meet someone from illinois. this morning was one of those times. and he wasn't from just anywhere in illinois. he was from a town only about 20 minutes from where i grew up. how cool is that? what are the chances? the odds of that happening?

happy day.....

mistaken identity

i have owned for cats most of my adult life. well, maybe the cats have owned me when it comes down to it. they have been my babies providing me with many hours of companionship, entertainment, comfort, joy, laughter. each has had their own personality even though i have had many friends tell me that cats don't have personalities. i beg to differ.

case in point. my current cuddly kittie, gracie. she is just about to turn 9 years old. do you think she knows that? does it impact her? does it make a difference in her thinking, her behavior, her eating habits, her sleeping patterns? maybe..... 'cuz - i think she thinks she's a dog. yes, you heard that right. a dog.





gracie thinks she's a dog. why? because she chews things! cats don't chew things! no, they don't. dogs do! cats play with things, chase things around, catch mice, sleep a lot....those kinds of things. they don't chew stuff! i'm talking about chewing cords mostly. electrical cords. oh, she's mighty adorable while she's doing it. cute face. twinkle in her pretty gold eyes. tiny little grin on her face. but she also knows it's not right, i'm telling you. i look at her and say, "no. what are you thinking?" and gracie looks back at me with a look that says, "huh? whatsamatter?" now tell me that's not personality. and a case of mistaken identity.

happy day.....

solutions

don't you simply love it when solutions present themselves? they are just handed to you during a conversation and you didn't need to ask?

recap

in my very first blog, i brought up how i had sent a message via my iphone that i had not meant to send. it was in draft form...i was previewing it and accidentally hit the "send" button; left yelling at my phone. well, my brother and i were talking and he asked me if i had filled in the "to" portion of the address when i had written up the draft. well of course i had. doesn't everyone? that's the very first thing you do as you're getting ready to compose an email, isn't it? i always thought that was standard fare.

the solution

he says to me, "don't do that. next time, just leave it blank and when you might hit send, it'll bounce back to you telling you the address can't be found and/or are you sure you want to send it?" i can tell you this, i just went, "huh! how simple is that? are you kidding me?" people, i had never thought of this and it isn't even a gadget kind of thing now is it? is this common sense? is this a techie thing? i don't know. what i do know is it's an easy fix and it makes me grateful for a brother who didn't tell me i had missed an obvious answer to a frustrating situation.

happy day....

can't make me CAP

i decided it was my privilege to write however i wanted to using whatever punctuation, grammar, font, colors, etc., when i began this blog. in fact, at the beginning of 2010 i began sending emails the same way. no upper case, no caps, nothing, nada...i relaxed, got lax if you will. i just like the sound of my fingers pounding the keyboard without interruption and wanted to get lost in that. with no thought involved really. just constant movement; fluidity in motion with my fingers flying. a kind of poetry between me and my computer. i'm enjoying it, finding freedom from the shift key, allowing my fingers to do their clickity-click of a dance of joy.

then my fingers skidded to a sudden halt when someone mentioned to me the other day that my software isn't capitalizing the "i's" properly in the blog. whoa! that gave me pause but just for a moment and i said, "well, no......ummm......that's me." "huh?" "see, it's like this," i said. and i went on to explain i don't want the i's in caps....it's on purpose. "really? why?" i asked, "does it matter?" "but what about proper grammar?" he replied.

here's the thing: at this point in my life can't it be up to me how proper i want my grammar to be? especially in my own blog? who cares? i followed all the rules in school; elementary school, jr high, high school, college as well as in my work life. now i want to do it my way....make up my own rules and play how i want to play. i'm entitled. will anybody really care? seems like such a simple thing, a little thing.

happy day....

lego's

do you remember lego's? you could build just about anything with them, couldn't you? do anything with them? i can't remember that we had them growing up in our family to be honest with you or if they were around, how sad is that? maybe i'm too old. when were they invented anyway? but i do remember that when i got my hands on them during a babysitting caper, i had fun with the kids. we spent a lot of time with those things. making crazy things. imaginary things. stuff we knew nothing about that no one had heard of. that we gave stupid names to, made up names to, and dreamed that we were wild inventors in the big universe and garnered huge applause for our own genius. yes, we were brilliant! we lived for those moments, those special dreams... we'd hide the best of our inventions away for the next time i'd be over with them, and then bring them back out to play and dream and live big again.

i came upon this link....it's about dreams. do you remember lego's?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIVahDyoGO0

happy day....

birthdays

so there i was standing in line at starbucks this morning after my water aerobics class. it's become a one-day a week indulgence i look forward to after working my butt off in the water...my venti, non-fat chai. nothing more, nothing less. nothing added, no special flavors. no wimpy size tall. have you seen that? what is that? why bother? it's like two sips and you're done. i ask, what's the point? is it for the dainty amongst us? that wouldn't be me. if i'm going to pay for a drink, i want a drink to drink. something that will last me....something hearty. so i go all out and opt for the venti size. at starbucks it's the largest you can get!

in front of me was a woman who was ordering, uh-huhummm....a tall white mocha and of course, she was just a petite little thing and then turned my way and by gosh, was also pregnant. the lady on the other side of me just couldn't contain her delight at this turn of events and gushing said, "oh my, when are you due?" it was evident pregnant lady had but a few months to go and she confirmed it by replying, "oh, in april." they then proceeded to chat it up about pregnancy and kiddos to which i zoned out completely until i heard them talking about actual dates, birth dates. and i started to wonder about the whole planning process of birth; taking it into our own hands...removing the excitement and surprise of it. because here's the thing, she knew down to the last detail when she was going to give birth to her baby - date, time, hospital, room number, doctor, nurse, aides, janitors, (okay, maybe some of this i'm making up) as well as the sex....a little girl, her name - which i missed, doggone it! no surprise, no drama. that obviously works for her and she admitted that the pregnancy itself was enough of a surprise. but i can't help pondering, does it remove an element of the whole miracle of birth: the awe, the delight, the joy?

happy day.....

snow shine

do you ever wonder about snow? the snow fell last night making a beautiful landscape this morning. the sun was out in its glory, glistening upon it and i was thinking, "why is it all shiny like that?" i'm sure there's a scientific reason but i prefer to think that god wanted me to wonder and ask. to be able to step outside and breathe in the cold crisp air; be amazed at the beauty of it all....caught in the moment.

then i laughed. because the kind of snow it was had laid perfectly upon the grass leaving the sidewalk wet....no shoveling to be done. how perfect is that? what a gift!

happy day.....

wicked wednesday

today is the first day of my new blog....it's a wicked wednesday and i couldn't be more pleased! i'm hoping that blogging will provide me with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction; an outlet to ponder on some of the little things that can please me, surprise me, make me laugh, leave me shaking my head in wonder and remind me of simple pleasures.



this morning i found that i am not as much of a gadget girl as i thought when i was playing on my iphone and mistakenly sent an email that i didn't want to send. oops! have you done this, too? i was pressing all kinds of buttons and yelling at the phone, "nooooo!!! don't go. don't go." like that was going to stop it. well, no magic happened. the message was gone. note to apple or microsoft or google or someone: include a clearly marked button that says "retract message" for those of us who need it as an option.

happy day.....